Monday, October 2, 2017

My sayang

Assalamualaikum.
Ni hao!

mari kita mulakn misi merepek kerepek.kekeke~

you know..i pray hard to Allah to grant me love...ala2 syurga cinta..cinta smpi ke syurga gitu.and smua pun tahu nk msuk syurga bkn senang.jd there is a quote.."i ask Allah for love, but He gave me trouble people to help." We didnt get what we want but we get what best for us.kali ni kita akn cungkil sisa liku about someone that i hold dear in my heart. klo nk bce, bce..xnk sudah..ngeh2.

Alkisah..terereett..
sblm ni mmg rs mcm hati dh trtutup..sbb byk sgt heartbroken nye..and i always wonder why didnt i get the love that i want..which are cthnyaa...someone that can hold me tight when im broken.tu cliche..maksudnye..someone that can fight for me..knows how to console me when im mad/sad..love me unconditionally..being nice and take care of me..and accept me for who i am for all my weaknesses and strengths.tapi...stlh byk kali heartbroken(acee..mcm byk sgt je haha)..i still didnt pass Allah's test for me. i mean surely Allah gave those people to me and broke my heart right? there is somewhere from there Allah wants me to learn from it or from them. tapi...sadly myb i didnt learn anything. thats why the heartbreak keep coming to me.huhuu

so after years passed by..Allah opens my heart again to love this one man. at first im reluctant to accept him..why?because i didnt want to feel that broken phase again.haha.tp ade stu ayt ni.."dont keep your heart like you want to retire with it." so i all out take the risks and fall to this man. he is someone that break my damn high strong walls which i built so many years.ingt dh sedia kukuh dh xleh runtuh tp runtuh gk.haha. and i love him for not giving up on me.i truly love him.thank you yaAllah for giving me the opportunity to open my heart again and being in loved. loving him is among the best things that happen in my life. i truly thank Allah for the happiness.

but, balik kpd ats td..nk msuk syurga bkn sng.same with i ask Allah to grant me the syurga cinta. many trials came to say hye..haha..at first, i felt very frustrated, damn sorrow occupied my life until my weight decrease about 6kg haha..you know im not someone which easily to gain weight and to lose weight too.so klo dh turun tu ingt sng nk naik blk?haha adess..skrg still struggling nk naikkn brt blk nh.underweight dh.doakn ea smua.(tula ms brt okay beria nk kurus..ni Allah dh kasi kurus..haa tau pun xbest.dush3.heart of matter, blja syukur slalu.) but during my miserable time tu..i pray harder..harder..harder to Allah..i pray for the best.and now i realize that we must give first in order to get.for example..i want someone that will fight for me by any means..so i must first fight for him. i want someone to accept me for who i am..so i must accept them for who they are. currently im learning all that. and one thing dpt pencerahan yg sgt cerah..anything in this world is belong to Allah..one and only.so pray to Him..sabar, tawakkal sebenarnya hanya pada Dia. then my heart is at ease.Alhamdulillah ^^

okay for this special man.i pray our soul will become one someday insyaAllah.doakn smua byk2.heee. i do love him with all my heart and soul and will always love him. i will love him unconditionally, accepts all his weaknesses and strengths, not giving up on him and all in all...i pray harder that one day he can become my halal ones. i want to hold him tight and never let him go. and grow old together with him.wahhh besarnye cita2..heh mestilah!

so right now, i just can pray for the best. i pray Allah gives happiness to him everyday and leave all to Allah. in the meantime, im preparing my best self to be the one that he can rely in future.i know im not perfect..nobody is perfect peeps..so just let do our best okay. i fight for him in my doa because he is someone that i cant afford to lose. he is my smile and also tears.haha.thats why i want to fight for him.so if we're meant to be..Alhamdulillah. if not, i'd tried my best and i'll not have any regret insyaAllah.sbb ape..sbb jodoh kt smua kn dh trtulis dh sejak azali lg..so siapa kt nk prsoalkn?kne belajar redha okay wlau syg mcm mn skalipun. i just want him to be happy and happy and happy.because i love him.wink2. you know why im in love with him? because by loving him..i got to learn so many things. i learned that loving someone is not an easy thing.haha..yela dh bse sorg je..so klo brdua ni kne nk jaga hati lg..xleh nk pntg dri..kne jaga kelakuan jgn nk ikut kepala sndri je.huahua.dush3. same with in marriage..lps kahwin kn smua belang keluar.so ni sbnr practise gkla ni. then i learned to forgive with all my heart, by putting the ego asides. you know..apelah ade pd ego nh..i rather choose happiness than ego.xbwk kemana pun weyh ego tinggi tu.buang tong smph campak jauh2. i didnt care if people said im crazy why should i fight again..because i fight for my happiness.then i'll be happy i guess..i'll be happy by doing all that. besides, i also learnt how to accept and tolerate with people's weaknesses. everyone has weaknesses..i think out of the box, something that happen from his point of view.haha.reverse psychology..i learned all of that.byk kot blja. sbb tu syg lbih.acee.

lelaki ni lain drpd pmpn..lelaki akn ingt pmpn ni serabut..haha..sbb otak dorg simple je.pmpn ni akn tny mcm2..amik berat..mmbebel..nasihat..nk attention klo dh syg. mst la sbb syg pmpn ni bt smua tuh. klo xsyg dorg x heran la cik abg oi korg nk bt ape buatlah. bg lelaki dan perempuan di luar sne..meh nk nsht skit nh..amik pedoman okay.tp xsmua pmpn mcm ni..ade je pmpn yg that so 'cool' type tp jarangla.hahaha. pmpn ni dia pny hati klo dh syg..fuhh syg sgt la.sbb tu klo llki ckp nk break..pmpn akn bgong skjp..dia akn call/msg non-stop..non-stop ye bce ulang non-stop.haha.knp nk break ape slh bla bla bla. tp llki ni rimas ble jd mcm tu wahai pmpn sekalian.haha. nk bt mcm mn..pmpn ni byk emosi la wahai llki skalian.sbb dorg syg.dorg nk slmtkn hbgn tu.tp llki xfhm..dorg fkir semak je pmpn ni bt mcm tu..wlaupun dlu syg..syg..haha.sbb llki ni sbnr nk that so called 'need space'. jd awk wahai pmpn..klo llki tu mnta break/xmsg awk..awk cool je dlu..jgn serang dia.jgn msg/call pape tny ape xkena...bg dorg cool down dgn time yg dorg nk.llki ni nk space sbb ade ssuatu la yg trjd..mslh kje/stress/kluarga apa2 la yg swktu dgnnya.jd awk sbg pmpn jgn pressure mereka lg..bg mereka msuk gua dlu.jgn kacau.nnt dh settle dorg kua la tu cri awk blk.tp konsep ni x apply klo llki tu main kayu tiga ea.klo dia cheated awk jd awk bt ape trhegeh lg kat dia.awk move on jela okay awk.klo skali dia boleh menipu..possibility dia nk menipu akn dtg ade lg.percayalah.melainkan dia dh taubat sebenar-benar taubat nasuha.okay tu sdkt tips bg awk llki dan pmpn.mn baik amik jd kn pngjrn, klo slh maafkn la yep.hr tu bt research skit psl nh...aheh.

to all people who is searching for the love right now..love..lets love unconditionally.dont ever keep your heart in a damn place where no one cant reach out like i did few years ago.hahahaha. spread the love and insyaAllah one day Allah will grant you the love that you're seeking with your sincere heart. and do believe that Allah knows the best for us. He will not let us be alone. He will grant all the doas you make in a perfect, beautiful time that best for you. believe in Him okay. dan yg plg penting cintakan Allah yg utama. bru cinta manusia. dgn itu hati akn tenaang..insyaAllah. :)

right now, im preparing to make my life to be awesome so that i can share my beautiful life with him. marriage is about sharing the life you got with one another. so i want to make my life as exciting as i can so that we both will not be bored.lme kot nk brsma kn nk grow old together.hahaha. pray for me too keh. okay jom tdo. adiossaa~

"share my life..take me for what i am. cause i never change all my colors for you.take my love, i'll never ask for too much."