Saturday, March 25, 2017



Everyone wants to get married right.
But, I dont. 
after so much heartbreaks..i dont think i can make it to marriage.haha
poor me? 
please dont.

lead your life as a single is less trouble.
believe me, i'd tried.

being single vs in a relationship.
its so much trouble being in a relationship. 
there is one other shinjang you must aware of..cant just think about yourself.
its also damn painful if the relationship fails.
so the safest method is not to involved in any kind of this BS.

but i'd dreamt of my fantasy marriage. 
if i'd ever marry someday. 
maybe not.
just my marriage goals.

i want to make it simple, after the pernikahan..solat sunat sujud syukur.
then a little feast for the guests.
the attire just a simple creamy white baju kurung which i'd already have.
haha amazing i'd prepared how many years ago..six?
then for the next day kenduri, also simple one..after the arrival of groom and bride, then eat..and i want to walk and greet the guests that come to the wedding.
say hai to each and everyone of them.
its not just stay at your place and see them from far no no. not my preference.
then for the baju..i'll just wear any baju raya dress that i already had. and my groom wear a simple baju melayu with same color.
then the pelamin, just make DIY.
the doorgift. just simple too.
lets get back to 90's. an egg for the doorgift. easy.
ahaa forgot. the hantaran..just 3. alQuran, sejadah and telekung. enough.
i dont prefer ring because not used to wear them, i already have rantai and gelang..then whats more?
i dont need anything then i guess.
for mas kahwin i dream to make my spouse to recite any ayat from the Quran. for example Surah Yasin and AlWaqiah.
no need dj or songs during the kenduri.
let it be peaceful.
then i would like to have son for my first new born if can.
i'll teach him basketball.kekekeke
he will grow up to be anak yg soleh, gentleman, tall and as handsome as his father ofcourse.
i cant handle if my daughter to be gedik type..thats why i prefer son instead. 
wahhhh.. my dream is big.

but but but.
it is just a beautiful dreams.
i cant fell in love anymore.
didnt have the heart anymore.
dont confuse i dont hate men..just i dont have any feelings for them anymore.
i just want to leave this world and meet Allah.
Allah's love one and only.
its enough for me insyaAllah.

but if someday Allah's fate that i'll get marry to someone..
i just hope he is capable to withstand me with a lot of sabar.
im not perfect..far away from it.
have many mengadeness, short-tempered and many more.
no one ever succeeded to not leave me.
all of them left.
left for good maybe.

its okay.
i'll live..and im living my best too.
there are many things you can do in this temporary world.
marriage is not the ultimate life goal.
the ultimate life goal is to die with ease, your grave is big and smells good and meet Allah with smile. being in syurga with Nabi Muhammad SAW and his companions, my families and friends.

all in all.
i dont hate marriage.
i pray for each and everyone of my friends to get married and live happily.
may them found their soulmates soon.

" You create your own happiness, not others. But first be happy with yourself. "

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